12/2/10
Hello journal and WORLD!
I haven’t written in a long time because I have been feeling an extra sense of vulnerability this last 7 months. Part of it has been traveling (ungrounded) and part of it is my beautiful conscious loving romantic partnership. The last 7 months have been the most adventurous, daring, fun, and intense. My partnership has opened wounds, healed wounds, and most of all expands who I am. To me, this year I have been more vulnerable and exposed than ever.
Today I had an experience you might call: “Meant to be”. I had this card for a “healer” two years ago given by a friend. This healer does recommendations only. I had a strong feeling about him so I kept the card. So I called two days ago to see if there was availability within this week because I am only here for a week. Christy (also a healer) answered and said that it was very evident that I was meant to come because there was just a cancellation before I called otherwise they would have been booked for months.
So I sit down he explained that he looks at Auras (a field of subtle, luminous radiation surrounding a person). He also looks at meridians and chakras. All in all -he has a gift what the Native American’s call “half sight” where he can see people’s energy field. I sat down nervous to be exposed to someone who can see such a deep part of me. They start the session by reading your aura and telling you what he sees. He didn’t ask me anything. He didn’t know ANYTHING about me and he was able to depict what I have been seeking for months…
I have been experiencing a lot of anger and mood changes. Part of me knew it was from my past, but I didn’t know what to do with it. I also know that going to the chiropractor helps me feel good again. But this man (Jeff is his name) said that he saw my root chakra as a ball with one flat side. He said this may result in “Mood shifts, anger, things feeling good then all of a sudden sadness or anger”. He also listed physical symptoms all of which I have been experiencing. I felt so honored to finally see the ROOT ISSUE of my recent experiences. It was like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for the first time.
In the last few months passerby’s mention to me that I should be on “Psych” meds for bipolar. Others have called me “broken”, insecure, etc.( not that meds are bad, but i believe in the impossible - that i have the power to heal myself :D) I know I am much more than that. I know that anything is possible and I do not want my emotions to run my life.
He said root chakra can be caused by physical and/or sexual abuse (both of which I have a history of). So then he went to work on me clearing me with an eagle feather. To some of you this may sound phony or not true, but this is MY experience. As I sat on the stool they used crystals and feathers to reconnect broken meridians and fix chakras. When he told me I may feel nauseous I would feel it and then it would pass. He said I may start my cycle today and I did. It was just a beautiful experience. It has been something I have been praying for a long time. When I drove away from there I could tell I have shifted. When driving, I didn’t care that the car behind me wanted to go faster, I didn’t feel stressed about anything on my mind, and all over I feel happier and calmer.
Also another healing experience was he mentioned my 3rd eye. (The eye that helps you see details of life such as colors, auras, and spirits.) He said that my 3rd eye was pretty developed for someone my age. Just a week ago I was somewhere supposedly “therapeutic” and they asked me 50 questions one including “do you see things that aren’t there?” Because most people deem “seeing things” as a problem and not a gift. For once I felt accepted and safe to say that yes I do see things. It is vulnerable to talk about and a gift that I love about myself, but don’t share with others much because of the stigma around “seeing things”.
Anyways I feel like letting the creative expression of me SHOW UP through writing which is my favorite option In life to do. In the last 9 months I have been travelling non-stop. I have been up California Coast (twice), Oregon (twice), Hawaii for 2 months, and Northern California for several months. I also travelled from Portland, OR to Springhill, FL. The United States is beautiful. There is a lot of change within 100 miles. One of the things in life I have been embracing as therapy has been driving. I know it is sometimes people’s least favorite things to do, but for me it is my music, my hands on the steering wheel, and my overflowing thoughts. I love feeling in control of my life (as we all do). But it is not about controlling the car to me- it is about using the car as my best friend. Seeing things as our friends are BEST friends make life so much easier. You might say “your ‘friend’ isn’t like mine. “Mine has old engine parts, mine runs out of batteries etc.” And I say my car does have its issues I CHOOSE to focus on the parts of her I love. She can go fast, she is beautiful and red, and she brakes, turns, and saves gas.
So I don’t know how much I will be writing, but I wanted to share where I am at currently and I came to a turnaround in healing. I look forward to opening to you all in any way that I choose to do so. I am grateful that I got insight, healing, and Universal love this morning. I am so grateful for you the readers and I hope that I inspire you or help you open your heart as well…
ONE HUGE LOVE
Amy
-- Kahlil Gibran
