The only thing I can blog about is the importance of having positve thoughts!

5-24-10

I want to continue to write blogs AND I want to keep manifesting what I want. I realize the power of my words. I remember a year ago while doing P90X (workout video) with a friend I was complaining and about feeling out of breathe and exhausted. She said how about we make a rule not to complain? And each time I was about to open my mouth I noticed that I was about to complain. And about five minutes later I was doing more reps and breathing effortlessly( from just stopping complaining!).


Being “addicted” to complaining is like being addicted to drugs. I have experienced both addictions before. And just like with drugs when I was 17 and “hit bottom” -five nights ago I hit bottom with complaining. I won’t say what happened because there is no need to give it energy, but there was 3 different similar situations happened within 4 days. The events had an impact on me that let me know there was something that I was thinking about that didn’t serve me. That night after some tears I was going to do it again (complain). I wanted support from friends “what was wrong with my life?” I called a friend and immediately my phone died. THANK THE UNIVERSE it did. I had two more hours until I got to my destination in San Jose, CA. And I realized I had the choice to either feel good or feel not so good. My phone was dead and the thoughts were louder than the music at the time. So I had no choice except to CHOOSE which feeling.

For whatever reason at the time I felt entitled to being a victim of the world. It was like lifting weights to be able to see the light in the situation (only this weight doesn’t come back down). So I used up all the energy behind the events and laughed as hard as I could. I decided that I am going to change (I even pulled over to put this song on by Aaliyah “If at first you don’t succeed, you can dust it off and try again”).


The more I tell my story of abundance the better I feel. I want to feel my way through thoughts and choose the best feeling ones( "the path of the least resistance". I  am doing this exercise in “Complaint Free World” Where the book teaches you to wear a bracelet and every time you complain switch it to the other hand. And if you can be complaint free for 40 days (the number it days of a habit) you can take off bracelet (except if you complain you have to start over from day one). I started this a few days ago and each morning when I remind myself of this bracelet I feel lighter and know my days only getting better.

Legalize ME!

Tonight is my last night here in Seaside, OR and I am feeling myself become sad (but not hardened). I have enjoyed staying with a great friend who has held space for my tears and shared moments of shear laughter. I really like the beautiful beach here and the green wildlife that surrounds. I just know that there is more that I am seeking. I have wanted to massage more people and it has been an issue, but I decided to not focus the lack of clients.

Instead I have taken walks on the beach, telepathically communicated with the seagulls, and watched beautiful fish jump out of the water from the stream that runs in the middle of the town. I realize how much magic can happen in a short amount of time. Although it seemed like I didn’t “do” much. Every moment is a new experience and it doesn’t matter what I do, but who I am. I am not the same person that came here a week ago. I didn’t know what a full service gas station was like, having the sun set at 8:30pm, or what it was like to be in Seaside in this moment in time until now. And I got to know a really inspiring person and learned so much by just sharing space with her.

I feel change is coming again. I know when in the middle of change the most nourishing lessons come forth. I know that what I want is manifested, what I haven’t yet experienced is exposed, and I know that it is definitely unpredictable. And “unpredictable” is why the U.S government outlawed LSD (because the trips and people are “unpredictable”). It is interesting how fear comes up at such vulnerable times. Unpredictable experiences are why we don’t choose change for our lives. Change can feel sad, lonely, abandon, and can also feel exciting, thrilling, opening, and very blissful. I am headed to Portland tomorrow and I don’t know what the Universe has in store, but I know how to stay aligned with what I want.

I am learning what it feels like to be aligned. Being aligned feels like a stable trust that what I am experiencing is for my highest good. That there is a reason I am here and now and to be present with it. I am currently reading The Passion Test and this quote helped me : “You will know you are aligned with your passions when things happen to you which others might find uncomfortable, distasteful, or undesirable, and they don’t even faze you because you are so driven by the fire inside.”

So when I am asked about money, or I am looking at my bank account and I am feeling worry it means I am not aligned. I must feel the not aligned part to get the message. Even if it is just two seconds of stepping out of alignment because then I know what to ask for “More exchanges of Energy please and abundance!” It is like when I was in Massage School we were told in hydrotherapy to start turning the cold water at the end of hot showers (Contrast). What I appreciate now is the awareness of when I am aligned and when I am not.

Before when I would feel upset about not being in my alignment I think I was really resenting the fact that I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t know when, how, or why it started. And even though I may not have all the answers when it happens at least I am aware of it. Being aware is an inner truth. When I was growing up I had “depression.” (One of the many mental diagnoses psychologists assumed I had). And even now when I feel sad my ego jumps to “You must be depressed”.

I think what I was really feeling was the lack of awareness. After all I was continually put on medications to numb, fix, or “smooth” out the problem. So I started to depend on outer things to show me if I was aligned or not. Now I take the power back into my hands.

Sometimes I want to control or manipulate my life to be exactly the way I want it to be. Awareness is what I have, and it is the key to being able to ask for what I want and do what I want then sit back and enjoy the ride. Awareness is how I know where I am on the road. (That doesn't mean I won't go off the road once in a while and create my own paths ;) )

Mothers are as strong as the children who believe in her...Mother Earth...

The importance of individual action to celebrate World Environment Day,and how individual actions when multiplied can make a difference to the planet.
This blog was inspired by a collaboration of Mother's Day, World Environmental Awareness Day blogging contest, and personal experience.



In the middle of a neighborhood in Seaside, Oregon, I am sitting at the edge of a swamp. It’s not the kind that’s made from filth, instead it is the kind of swamp that was created from Life itself. I witness fish coming to the surface on a rhythm and the aroma of sweet flowers flying past. I am witnessing gnats cluster and scatter in patterns I do not yet understand. I think how beautiful it is here in this simple setting of nature. Then I hear two ducks (a mated pair I believe) call out and I see them start to waddle across the road to me. My heart drops as it is beautiful to see them (male and female together).

Then I hear a truck engine rumbling from down the road. I get nervous because the ducks are in the middle of the road, but they hear the truck too and run back across the road. About a minute later the truck passes by. In this moment I realize that nature has adapted to us. Ducks can hear from miles away. The ducks knew which way to run to when they heard the truck coming. We are all born with innate intelligence from the seed that turns into a rose, to a healer with her intuition. We are all made from innate intelligence greater than any machine, pollution, or trash. What I want is for communities to believe in Mother Nature herself. Stop ONLY focusing on all the harm and pollution. The only pollution is what we create in our minds.

We know from the Law of Attraction that if we focus on the parts of our faces with acne in the mirror it only get worse. The trick is to focus on the areas that are clean and soft on our face and then soon our whole face is cleaner and smoother. We learn to say mantras to ourselves and speak kindly to our own soul. Why not to Mother Earth?

What I think is important for individuals to do on World Environmental Day and beyond is to BELIEVE in whatever action you decide to do. Just like a magician knows his/her wand will create magic, we must believe that our picking up trash will change the world, our conserving water will create more, and our use of less electricity will prevent pollution. Together we can make one powerful magic wand to help mother earth. We each have different and new ideas and it is those ideas that create new outlets for helping mother earth. Some people invent new energy resources, some find ways to save, some find ways of cleaning up the earth, and when we share these ideas and believe in them it does wonders.

Next time using water be present and notice how much you use and just imagine all that water you saved doubled its size. Take action; be present, and BELIEVE in what you do. Mother Nature listens to and responds accordingly to what we believe in. The knowledge that all life on Earth is born with- is enough to create miracles.

So how will you help your Mother Earth? World Environment Day is on 5 June 2010. Every day is an opportunity to give back to mother earth. She is waiting. If you choose to plant a tree, eat healthier, use only hand towels, get an electric car make that decision with the best intention in mind. The power behind the magic wand is belief itself. Even imagining a solution to the current oil spill in the gulf will help Mother Earth heal. If you have any ideas, comments, concerns etc please post on my blog or on my Facebook "like" page. I would love to come together to have a discussion.

It takes a thousand times of getting lost to truly understand finding one's way...

5/5/10
I have traveled hundreds of miles without maps, with maps, with directions and it doesn’t seem to matter what I have- I can still get lost. What matters is how I feel. Several weeks ago I was trying to get back to my friend’s house. I remember I got off at the same exit twice and ended up in the same hotel parking lot. I was feeling even more mad when I saw the same people unloading their cars – I thought so much time had passed. The problem was that I kept turning around because I didn’t trust myself. Finally my anger is what pushed me to go in one direction until I saw the correct exit. I noticed that we have emotions because they get us to the next step in life they are tools.

A few days after that I was trying to get out of San Francisco at 5am and I could feel myself changing in emotions right away instead of letting emotions take me over i started saying things i was grateful for in that moment(such as seeing the sunrise over the ocean!). Now, I do appreciate and feel so happy when I do find my way.

It’s like when I feel negative emotions I am in a dark room, but when I light a match( gratitude) I find my way out quicker. Just like a mother notices when her child has to use the restroom I know when I am starting to change the way I experience life. I can predict how things are going to flow from the way I feel.

I remember on one of Abraham- Hicks cds. A parent asks Abraham a question from their kid “Why are Grownups so Grumpy?” And Abraham says “the longer you live the more excuses you find to hold yourself out of your vortex.” And I am finding MORE reasons to be in my vortex. But now that it has been over a month of traveling I find that I can start thinking of reasons not to travel. What keeps us from happiness is ourselves. Anything that “makes us unhappy” is an excuse! One thought that was readily on my mind was abundance. In society I have been taught that abundance is hard working, obedient, orderly, committed, in one place, tied down, married, "rich", 5 houses, 10 cars etc- Things that I haven't been doing much of at least in in the eyes of society...

I have learned through this experience abundance isn’t about pushing against the stream in order to get what I want. I know when I was growing up I thought I had to feel bad to get what I want. For example when I was living with the Templin’s (one of my 7 adoptions) I remember I would ask if I could go play with friends on the weekend. They would reply with a “maybe.” And I would pout the entire week saying “Maybe means you’re going to say 'no". And I would choose to stay in a bad mood thinking it was the only way I was going to be able to play with my friends on the weekend. When I pouted IS when I got what I wanted... And then many of us grow up and think we need to work 8-10 hour days doing things we don’t want to do in order to be happy to fulfill the “American Dream”. In order to have all the “things” we want.

Being abundant is not asking what I can get from the world, but what do I have to GIVE the world. When I remember who I am (love, pure positive energy, existence, consciousness, bliss;)) I remember that I am naturally abundant. We all are naturally made up of eternal love. I have SO much to give, especially massages! When we feel abundant we GIVE and giving is the best feeling in life and that feeling is abundance to me and that is what attracts clients, donations,places to stay, and any other ABUNDANT exchanges of energy.


What I am doing is living the life I want: I am as free as a bird. I get to see, or do, or be where I want when I want. And even though I love my freedom I can still find excuses not to be happy. My purpose is to experience freedom and be happy. Without the normal comforts I am used to at home I find my relationship to Source becoming stronger. Even subtle changes such as experiencing full service gas stations in Oregon are changing my “habits”.

By changing my habits I know that anything is possible and because I believe it- it really happens. For example, I was missing being around animals especially dogs. And when I want something like to see a dog in Tucson I look at my schedule for that day and think well this shop doesn’t allow dogs and Betty Sue doesn’t have a dog so it looks like I won’t see a dog today (even though I want to). And since I am traveling I don’t know or have assumptions to hold me back. I asked the Universe to give me an opportunity to be around a dog. The next day someone was walking down the street with one, my friend introduced me to her boss with a dog in her office, and the tourist shop I went into had a dog who loved to be scratched behind her ears. The Universe answers!